The TV series Criminal Minds has a team of people profiling criminals to help solve serial killer cases. They are a BAU (behavioral analysis unit). They look for patterns. This works, of course, because we are creatures of habit. They look at the past to see how this person may have been affected or trained. What situation or circumstances may have trained or developed some aberant habitual drive. They look to see how he has learned and gotten better and better at killing and avoiding capture. For some killers, it becomes a game and they taunt the authorities, set them up and play with them. They look how the results or rewards effect either the escalation or de-escalation of his killings. These killers may be off, but they are still very much human habit machines. This BAU team counts on this habitual machine to predict, track, find and stop him before he kills again.
With each show you end with the sense the person was just unlucky and driven into being this horrible person by their circumstances, tragic upbringing or vulnerable age or condition. There is a saying that goes something like: “I would be you if not for my circumstances.” or “That would be me if that would have happened to me.” Yes, we have genetics and biology that play very important roles in our lives. But our training and building of our habit machine by our circumstances or experiences of life can not be denied. We have things in life that start and continue building our habit machine. It’s almost like our training is out of our control. It seems to just happen to us. We can’t seem to stop it or get control of it.
It might even be said, the Successful Person has, by LUCK, the genetic, biology, and circumstances that allowed them to be trained and become successful. Luck! Doesn’t seem fair, does it? Isn’t there anything I can do? You might say. Why wasn’t I lucky? We definitely can’t change our genetics or biology. The only thing we can control is the circumstances we put ourselves in and “how” we are trained by our circumstances.
We all know books and education can change how we view our circumstances and are trained by the them. That’s it! That’s the natural control point! How we are trained by the circumstances is the pivot point, the control point. We can’t change the circumstances as easily as we can change how we are trained by them.
Surprisingly, when we change how we are trained by our circumstances, the circumstances seem to change. Pay attention: As soon as you find a solution to a problem, you don’t seem to have that problem anymore. A clue here is: If your problem doesn’t go away, you haven’t truly found the solution. Changing our training to a circumstance is more powerful and much more effective than trying change the circumstances themselves. Play with it a bit, but we are trained by our circumstances. To get control, we must learn how to adjust and modify how those same circumstances train us to be able to get control and guide ourselves through these circumstances to our goals.
So let’s review: Luck determines if we end up a Serial Killer, a Successful Person or somewhere in between. Luck determined our Genetics, Biology and Circumstance we were born into. The only place we have a little control over is “how” we let the circumstances train us. People who want to control “how” the circumstance train us, might ban books and control our education. Controlling how we are trained by the environment is often a job initially taken on by the culture or society. Most cultures don’t really want successful people, they want people that successfully fit it and maintain the culture. If we want our values, dreams and goals, we need to get in charge of “how” we let our circumstances train us, not society or someone else.
We increase our odds by putting ourselves in a situation where we have higher odds at becoming successful. That’s where the saying: “Showing up is half done” comes from. The other half is “how” the situation trains you. This is the part we are hoping to get a little more control of: Serial Killer or Successful Person. Remember it’s not the situation totally, but “how” they got trained by the situation.
How we will be trained by the situation is already set up and trained into us by our culture or society. We are blissfully helpless, unless we read, research, experiment, practice and train “how” we let our circumstances train us. This is the training of controlling “how” we are trained. We,usually, just don’t get to this kind of training. We just happily go along being who we are and feel that’s just how it is. I am who I am and there is nothing I can do about it. This resignation is the training of cultures and societies. It’s just how it is, there is nothing a person can do about it. “How” your circumstances are training you is just the luck of the draw, unless you wake up and take charge.
To take charge of your training, you will need the tools to change “how” you are being trained. The tools to change “how” your circumstances train you are the first step. You didn’t need them before, so you don’t have them. Now, that you know it is possible and you want to take charge, you need the tools. Getting the tools and learning how to use them is a training. Patience is one of the first tools to acquire. Training takes time.
Think of yourself as deciding to be a construction general contractor. You don’t have a hammer and don’t really know how to use one. You get a hammer and with practice become proficient. You get saws, tape measures, screwdrivers, skills to read and build basic plans. ……. power saws, nail guns, drawings, projects, team. With time, determination and patience you become a successful general contractor.
The tools or power tools, that will let you control “How” our circumstance build our habit machine, will take time to develop. It’s not necessarily hard or easy. It just takes time to develop. It’s how people from the worst circumstances sometimes become the most amazing people.
Are you feeling lucky: Serial Killer or Successful Person? How would you like to increase your odds? You don’t have much control over your Genetic, Biology or Circumstances. You can seek out and put yourself in better circumstances to give yourself better odds (highly recommended-50% is showing up) and you can get the tools and change “how” the circumstances train you (Also, highly recommended-the other 50%). Feeling Lucky????
Your circumstance don’t make you.
It “how” you are trained to let the circumstance make you.
It’s a Training!
Training yourself to do what is not normal is not easy. There isn’t very much help out there, for you to get trained that way. The huge training of culture and society can be very overpowering. The road to success is abundant failure and tiny little wins. Most cultures say, let me teach you the good enough way, the average way. It is so much easier, to heck with all your dreams and true satisfaction. We have drugs, alcohol, food, and other stuff to keep your body entertained. It’s easier and more comfortable, you deserve a break today.
Training yourself to do the uncomfortable, the hard, the challenging, the scary but worthwhile, is not easy. It’s your only way to increase your odds to living your dreams. Are you feeling lucky or would like to increase your odds on your training. Here is Mother Teresa’s betting advice.
But remember, get the tools and build the habit machines to do this. The first of these is patience and dedication. Mother Teresa started out as a young girl and this poem is the machine of a trained very mature woman. Get the tools, the hammer and then power tools of habit development and build an amazing machine like Mother Teresa’s. Patience and dedication is one of your first tools. Take on a small project and learn how to use these tools. Good LUCK! I’m betting on you!
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.
Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.
Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten.
Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
-this version is credited to Mother Teresa
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