Are we being trained all the time? …….. We are you know! You did know that? “He made me laugh!” “I couldn’t help it, I had to do it!” “The fly annoys me.” “It was too tempting, I had to try the cake.” “He cut me off, he’s such a jerk!” We are always looking for rewards or avoiding pain. We can’t help it. It’s just who we are! We are humans, creatures of habit. These habits are designed to get us rewards and let us avoid pain.
Do you know how good it felt to yell at that driver that cut me off? OOOOHHH, it was wonderful! And to get away from the pester pain of a fly? That cake speaks for itself. It is beautiful, but it was not meant for just viewing, it was handmade for a hunger like mine. Yeow! …. and laughing at that joke, it wasn’t that good, but I needed to laugh!
We are on the lookout for things that reward us. Then we try to repeat it if it truly was rewarding. This initiates the habit protocol. That way, we get rewarded with less effort and automatically. It becomes something we just do, it becomes part of our nature. We also put the “avoid pain” machine on automatic as soon as possible to get rid of or avoid anything painful! Being all about reward and pain avoidance, is good! It just a naturally thing to do.
“If” we are being trained all the time is not the question …… you are being trained all the time, me too. Quit ignoring it and become aware: we are being trained >>> all the time! If it is working for you, rewarding or avoiding pain, you are already initiating some sort of habit machine protocol. Hey, it’s all sort of accidental, but that’s just life. Look at whales. They swim. Seems innocent enough! Some guy puts a huge super big hoop in the water and the whale accidentally swims through it and all of a sudden he gets a fish. This happens a few times and the whale is starting to connect that huge super big hoop with fish, a reward. Next thing you know he’s jumping through all kinds of hoops: Habit machine protocol initiated. Hungry >> swim through hoop >> fish or was that a cake or a joke you just needed to hear. And of course we can initiate the hunger or trigger with other things. Pictures of food, bell for Pavlov’s dog, smell of food, …. Hey, we are creatures of habit and getting rewarded is just an automatic! Initiate habit machine protocol for all things rewarding!
If we are being trained all the time, ….. Wouldn’t it be nice if we were in charge of it? Now that’s the question! You did wake up to this, didn’t you? I mean, accidental or letting someone train me to swim through hoops wasn’t top of my list of things to do. How about you? But it happening and we don’t even know it. Our ignorant bliss calls this training fate! How’s that working out for you?
The challenge is: I’m not in charge of my training and I’ve tried to train myself! … but it’s hard. It’s real hard. I eat too much, I don’t exercise enough and I don’t sleep well at night. Let alone not earning enough, saving enough, investing wisely enough oh and don’t even get me started with my kids or my boss and the stupid hoops they have me out of the water flipping through. They have me on call even on my birthday to help some mouseketeer who can’t tie his shoes. How did this all happen?
Go for my goals and dreams, forget that! I’ve tried so many times, with everything I had, and failed, failed, failed. I’ve been trained, going for your dreams and goals is painful, avoid at all costs. I avoid even thinking about them, let alone going for them. Hey, maybe that’s a clue. Maybe, if I could force myself to be just a little positive about my Dreams and Goals, I would start to be rewarded and go for them again. Do you think this is possible?
Don’t kid yourself. Look at a guy who’s dating a young lady. As he’s standing besides her, he notices another beautiful lady. He pretends he doesn’t see her or is attracted to her, ..... but she KNOWS! Pain is coming his way! Just like you know if you go for your goals, the training is pain! Come on, we are not so easily fooled. We get rewarded by what we get rewarded by and pained by what we are trained to get pained by. Rewards and pain are trained too!
Is it the same, what do we get rewarded by? Pained by? What you get rewarded by or pained by might be similar, but also very different that. Does everyone really like football? Chocolate? No! That’s why we have so many wonderful types of people. They all have different things that reward them. Yes, some are the same and some are different and with different amounts of reward (Oh, don’t forget Pain! Different set’s here too!)
Children love toys and fun things to do. They are on the lookout for them, as they have been rewarded by them. Some teenagers start to be rewarded by social interactions and are then trained to look out for them. If they carry their play mode with them, they pretend and develop the skills to create relationships and everything runs smoothly. (you did get that practice or pretend and play part related to smooth transition to real thing). But for some children social interaction, just aren’t in the mix. They don’t get or see the need (reward) of practicing stupid social stuff. What a waste of time on that! Their relationship don’t go so good. But they love playing, pretending, practicing sports, math or some other stupid thing. Hey, as you can guess, that’s what’s rewarding to them.
Later, when they start to see the value in social interactions, the jump is too big. They try and fail every time. Just to think about social interaction is painful. Practice and play at it would never work, they are positive! Besides they are too old for that. I mean, that’s little kids stuff. So even if they think there might be some reward in social interaction, the right now training is pain, pain, pain! Stay away, don’t do that! Does that sound like your Dreams and goals. Too painful to think about. Too big and painful of a jump to even consider going for it? Hey, you’re no baby or kid, you can’t play and pretend and get little fun rewards, can you?
The jump is too big! What if you broke your goals down and down and down and found some silly little thing you could practice and play with. You know go for and have fun perfecting it! That’s right, get rewarded for it. That’s right, start controlling your training. What might those little things be? Clue! Practice, play and pretend are the transition.
Happily married gentlemen, only have eyes for their beloved! Other guys might be on the lookout for beautiful ladies, but not them. They are almost blind to anything but their beloved. That’s right, they are missing a lot! What ever we are on the lookout for, we have a chance of seeing. It’s a heuristic look! Don’t you just love that crazy word. We, through experience, come up with clues or short cut ways to recognize a bigger or hidden object. If we are looking for our car, we might just see the taillight and know it is ours. It’s like a characteristic, sort of an iceberg tip, that allows us to have access all the iceberg. We are missing a lot, but assuming more. Iceberg clues, heuristic outlook, is because we have limited noticing power. It’s our lookout method. What are you on the lookout for?
Work with me here to get a feel for this. Look around the room where you are and notice all the red items. Go! Red! …. Got them? Now, look around the room for green objects. Count them! How many are there? Now, close your eyes. Test time! Can you see the red items? How about the green Items? Keep your eyes closed and do you see the blue items? The circular items? The small items? The …… you missed a lot! Didn’t you? If you weren’t looking for it, you missed it.
Back to our broken down Dream or goal: We are just looking for places we can play, pretend, practice and have fun (get rewarded) with something related to our Dream and Goals, something non-threatening. Yes, big huge dream or goal is too painful. Break it down, less painful. Keep going! >>>> less pain, >>>> less pain, >>> tiny reward, >>> actual fun!*** There you go! Now you have a start. You are looking to play, pretend, have fun and get reward for something related to your Dreams and goals. It’s a start and starting is half done! Now the leap is not to big. Get on the lookout for little steps to your dreams that you can play, pretend and have fun: get trained!
You are now looking for the situation, related to your Dreams and Goals, to have some fun! …. Get rewarded! A car cuts you off and you don’t even see it as you are engaged in a fun goal related event. What cake, you are focused on a play thing related to your Dreams and Goals. You are out looking to get rewarded, that’s just being a normal creature of habit. It’s just not accidental or some whale trainer. It’s You out looking for rewards in things that will take you to your Dreams and Goals. Your Dreams and Goals are running your life, not the jerk on the freeway, the class clown, the whale trainer, those fattening desserts. Break it down, down, down, down, >>> get on the lookout and have some rewards (fun, play, …. pleasure). Get control! Get yourself looking for the little rewarding events that will lead you to you Dreams and Goals.
All the time? Yes, you get it. Get yourself being trained all the time to get you to your Dreams and Goals. Your going to miss a lot! You always are missing a lot. Get over it! You are a heuristic human. But now, you are an iceberg detective searching for clues to train and reward yourself to get you to your Dreams and Goals. Be on the lookout and let only your Dreams and Goals reward you. Your going to miss the jerk on the freeway, the class clown, the whale trainer and those fattening desserts, but your going to get your Dreams and Goals. All the time being trained to become the person to make your Dreams and Goals come true. Your training! …..all the time!
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