We are trained and built by our culture, situation in life, genetic and biology. There are many sayings about walking in another’s shoes. If I had been in his shoes, I would have done the same thing. The tortured and bullied child, tends to grow up to torture and bully. The welfare child tends to grow up to be on welfare. The doctor’s child tends to grow up to be a doctor (or something like it). …... But not always. We are always looking for the training, the situation, the thing, that changed it. It’s like we are looking for one little thing and so many times we come up empty. Of course sometimes there is a major incident, but often even those come in the shadow of some other trainings or are followed by some training. The final analysis is: We are trained! Do you feel like that? Is your fate sealed by others or others things training you? Where are “you” in all this? Where are your Dreams in all this? Do “you” or your dreams even count? Have you been trained to accomplish your Dreams?
I am going to say NO! ….. Unless you have developed some special tool or equipment. I’m not talking simplistic reactionary tools like: Dad says don’t marry a person in that race and you marry a person from that race just to get to him. Or when the boss says now, you say never! These are simplistic culture trained power struggles. So who are you? How will you know when “you” are appearing or showing up?
Well, let’s look at the culture defined success: money, belongings, nice vacations, popularity, power, …. Etc. Are they yours, …. your goals? Or are you just the puppet of your society and cause, trained to force yourself through the masses to achieve their goals? I set a goal to go to the college of my dreams and I did it. Is that you or did your culture and society train you to do it?
Where is this spirit, this soul, that we humans claim we have. The “you” that is from this source, not the trained source. We may have this habit machine built by our culture and circumstance, but how does our spirit and soul express itself in this habit machine. Can our spirit and soul actually get connected and be a part of driving the development of this habit machine of ours.? Could it actually team up with our culture and circumstances and build this habit machine we have?
I love to watch women look at new babies. Oh, he’s so cute. He has your eyes! … your Dad’s fingers, …. And your husbands toes. I can never see it? We have two people who only demonstrate half their genome, that a mix of 4. Then you have the chemistry or baking challenge of all the ingredients together making something totally different. In chemistry you take two very safe things, put them together and it blows up! This is the challenge. The main thing we want to make sure of, we are in the mix. That is “YOU” are making a difference with your genetics and biological situation, in your culture, in your situation. There you go: you look and you can say, that is “ME!” I contributed. I gave! I made a difference.
So how much of what is now around you can you say is you? Some call it being responsible. Are you responsible? Now society is going to say if you didn’t do what they wanted you to do, you are irresponsible. We are not asking society. We are asking you. How much of you is showing up, according to you?
Me, I didn’t exist. I was a hidder. I hid! I was very good at it. I helped others exist a little, but mainly did what I was told to do. I was a good boy! I could chime in with the best of them and yell and scream for the team. …. But I was never there. When everyone is yelling the best way to hide is yell. It was just my way of hiding. Don’t rock the boat! People don’t like that, they may see you. Who knows what that might cause?
I love the protocol, that a doctor can never operate on or treat anyone he loves. That’s because of the pain or fear of hurting them, even though that is the treatment. He was hiding from doing what was necessary to help his loved one. Even though he knew it was necessary.
Your boss wants you to go to work to make money for the company that pays you. If you are your own boss, you take the day off and your company goes out of business and you don’t get paid. Your like the doctor, you can’t get yourself to pain yourself to help yourself. Crazy!
You may want to exist, but it might hurt. You may want to make a difference, but it’s easier to do that tomorrow (take the day off). Get ourselves to show up and exist, we aren’t trained for it. We aren’t trained for it and we don’t have the tools, equipment or position in our mind to make it happen. We are not the boss, “They” are.
A belief is not an idea the mind possesses,
It is an idea that possesses the mind!
“They” are the boss and that belief possesses us. “They” are the trainers! It is a training at the most core level. It starts out when we are very young and for some it never leaves. “They” train and develop us, not me. Even the bully is not the boss, he has been trained to bully. He has to bully. That’s what his machine does. He can not change it. He is not in control. He is not the boss.
The person that can control his habit development, the building of his habit machine,he is the boss. To control your habit machine development, you need the tools, equipment and training. We also need the trained position in our mind that we are the boss!
Teenagers are striving for this and “They” are going to make them earn it. “You are not the boss of me!” WOW! Powerful! Who is your boss? Most teenagers don’t know train and develop our habit machine. They have no idea how to be our own boss. Like us, teenagers don’t have the tools, the equipment or the training. Teenagers are going for the mindset, but the rest is not looking good. They claim to be their own boss,but soon teenagers, like most of us, will either go to prison or get a job and be good boys and girls. This is not looking good, “they” are taking over again.
What is this training and what are the tools and equipment I need to actually build a habit machine that would let me exist? First there would have to be a Captain or boss. I need to be in charge of my habit development, even if it’s tough. Next I’d need to connected to my Values, Dreams and Goals. This seems like the most probable place to connect to my soul or spirit. Then, I would have to work with the real world situation and my genetic biology. My machine would have to be powered internally if I am to remain in control. It would have to be resilient as this path may have never been traveled before. My resilient springs on my vehicle would need to be good, as abundant failure is the path to success. The springs are the amplification of the little wins. The little wins power us clean up, regroup and stay on the path. Failure is not the detour or some other distracting story told by “them”. Failure is the path. It is the path I must train myself to be steadfast in and guard with my sacred honor. I must stay on the path and keep failing until I succeed, and “I” start to exist.
Do not let the train yourself to be the kind and gentle doctor that cannot save you. The parent or teacher that protects you from harm. Pray not for the world to get easier, pray for you to get stronger. Strength come not from hiding, protecting and not trying. It comes from getting in the game. It is a place of much failure. Focus on the wins, amplify the wins and let them be the shock absorbers and springs that let you bounce back, resilient and stronger. Train yourself to clean up, regroup, heal yourself and get back in their stronger.
A belief is not an idea the mind possesses,
It is an idea that possesses the mind!
The wins, the little “grows”, that are getting you to your goal, must possess your mind! … not the easy pickins failures that are the headlines of the newspapers. Train yourself to be your own marketing and promoting expert: Your little wins will add up to an amazing you! Start early and train: Focus and fill your mind with the amazing, wondrous little wins. You can even get excited about the many failures that led you there. Abundant failure and little wins are the most amazing road freeway to success (speed determined most accurately by rate of failure).
Parents have babies that make mistake after mistake. (poop, pee, throw up, spill, fall down, …..) And they only see the wonderful little baby. This is not a machine to lose. Babies travel the road of failure and little wins and their marketing and promoting never stops. Little wins possess their minds, for their baby. You should hear parents talk at night of those stupid little things their baby did that they are all excited about. Of course they pooped, peed, spilled, knock down, fell down and all sorts of stuff and they are talking about this super small stupid little thing. They bounce back up the next day, living just for that next small little thing their baby does.
Your parents took you only so far, then they started to “should” you, like all good family, culture or societal creature would do. They did their job, now it’s up to you! Focus on the little wins, get diapers or routines to catch “should” mistake clean up and bounce back the next day looking for your next little win. Your Dreams and your little wins need to possess you more than the “shoulds”, mistakes, accidents, pee and fall downs. It’s a training! Choose to train a possession of your mind by the little wins and the dreams that are you. Poops, shoulds, failure and all that stuff, gets some sort of diapers or clean up routines to deal with it easily. At night, before you go to bed, giggle and enjoy the littlest attempt and maybe a little step or win that might lead you to your Dream. This is the wonderful “You”! Then smile and sleep soundly and “Dream!”
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