Your son is kidnapped when he is one year old. They find your son being held captive in a room, not part of normal society. Your son is 7 years old and he calls his kidnapper “daddy”. His kidnapper has fed him, clothed, sheltered him …. and cared for him since he was one year old. He knows nothing different than this guy and calls his kidnapper “daddy”. Can you believe that?
(as you might imagine) It will be a while before he calls you “Mom” or “Dad”? Will it take a while before he feels safe with you? He doesn’t know you at all. He has missed out on 7 years of your love, training and experience of being part of the family and the society and culture you live in. Catching him up to speed and then setting him up to excel, may take some time.
Let’s say “YOU” have been kidnapped and raised without “your” capable input. That’s what it’s like, when you all of a sudden decide to be responsible for building the habit machine to get you to your dreams, It’s going to take a while. It’s going to take a while before you really trust yourself. It’s going to take a while before you start to feel safe in what you are doing. “Who are you?” It is not just an idle question. You are going to have to remind yourself and sell yourself to yourself again and again. Moms and Dads know they are not Mom and Dad by title, but by their acts of loving, caring and supporting their children. It will be your little acts that sell yourself. You are the one building your machine that is going to take you on your most amazing journey to your Values, Dreams and Goals.
When you step up and decide you are going to go after your Values, Dreams and Goals, you will not miraculously become in charge. You may know what to do who you are, but your habit machine doesn’t. You haven’t been in your life and expressing yourself and now you show up and expect everything to change in an instant. It’s not going to happen that way. It’s going to take time.
I’m your “Dad”. You were kidnapped when you were one year old. I love you very much. I know you don’t know me. This will take some time. There is no rush. Right now, I just want to say “Hi!” and get to know you and you me. We will take it at the pace you can handle. I know this is a lot. I just want to say I love you and I’ll let you have some time.
I’m not sure how this is going to go, but whatever your son has been taught, trained, exposed to, does not make him guilty. In machine talk it goes like this: A machine does what it does. It is not to be blamed for doing what it does, but trained for any more desirable behavior. Love the amazing and trainable machine. Forgiveness and Love are paramount. A machine does what it does. It is not to be blamed, but trained. Forgiveness, Love and Training! Now for the questions:
Do you have a Forgiveness machine?
Do you have a Love machine?
Do you have a Training machine?
We become brave, by doing brave things. We become empathetic, by empathizing with others and ourselves. We are trained by doing. We are creatures of habit. We are what we have been trained to repeatedly do, repeatedly think, repeatedly feel. We are created by training.
Once we are created, trained, built (habit machine)..... we can’t help but be us. It’s automatic. It’s just what we do. We are creatures of habit, doing what we have been trained to do. That is who we are! Blaming won’t get us to stop. We have been created and just do what we do. Machines do what they do. They are not to be blamed, but trained.
Training! Training! Training! It is so hard to train, if you don’t know how to do it. It is so hard to learn, if no one shows you how to train. If you don’t know how to train, ….. If you don’t have self training machine, you are not to be blamed, but trained. But how do you get yourself train? You start where you are at and do what you can do.
We are creatures of habit. We are what we repeatedly do. Can you forgive anything? Can you forgive anything about yourself? Keep repeating “forgiving act” and soon you will have a forgiving machine. This is a training, a practice, a building of a Forgiveness machine.
We are creatures of habit. We are what we repeatedly do. Can you love anything? Can you love anything about yourself? Keep repeating “acts of love” and soon you will have a loving machine. This is a training, a practice, a building of a Love machine.
We are creatures of habit. We are what we repeatedly do. Can you train anything? Can you train anything about yourself? Keep repeating “acts of training: (no matter how small) and soon you will have a training machine. This is a training, a practice, a building of a Training machine.
Many of us have given up trying to control our lives. We’ve tried training ourselves, but no one ever taught us how, and found that to be totally frustrating. We’ve tried to control and force others and the world to do our bidding. That didn’t work so well either. Now we do the best we can, with what we have and seek to escape this frustrating situation as much as possible. It is like something outside of us has trained us and controls us and where we live.
Creatures of habit, I know you are very frustrated. You may have been kidnapped and it will take some time to get to know you and get “YOU” being in charge of your habit machine and life. You are loved. You are not to be blamed. Patience is a very important machine to develop. Work on the love of yourself. Love yourself enough to be patient and forgiving. The four machines or questions for a kidnapped machine are:
Do you have a Patience machine?
Do you have a Forgiveness machine?
Do you have a Love machine?
Do you have a Training machine?
Can you really outsmart yourself? You do what you do! ….. I said that! We are a product of our upbringing, biology and situations. “They” have made us, we are not the person we see ourselves to be, and we feel helpless. We are creatures of habit, habit machines, but we have the spirit and soul like all parents. We are now standing up for ourselves, can we really do it? What is it that this spirit and soul have that will make a difference?
Love! Nothing is more powerful the Love. It doesn’t happen without a Love machine. Love unexpressed, doesn’t exist. The machines must be built to give existence to the thing. Disneyland, “as an idea” isn’t very much fun. But the expressed, material Disneyland and Disneyworld are amazing.
A parent or person, that Loves themselves, becomes unstoppable, if they express their love of themselves with their Love machine. A parent or person, with a Patience, Forgiving, Loving and Training machine, is explosive with possibility.
Creatures of habit, It is now time to focus on and develop these machines. Is your machine doing what you want it to do? Is your machine taking you on the most amazing journey to your Values, Dreams and Goals? To build the machine to do what you want it to do and take you to your dreams, you need to be in charge of its development. It is time to stand up and un-kidnap yourself. With Patience, Forgiving, Loving and Training machine activate, train yourself. Repeatedly do and build your habit machine guided by your Values, Dreams and Goals. Train yourself to repeatedly do, think and feel the things that will take you on your most amazing journey to your Values, Dreams and Goals! It’s going to take some time, …. But that’s ok! Don’t push it, or it will take longer! Patience!
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