Superheroes defying the limits, restrictions and constraints of this world are so appealing. But we do have limits, restrictions and constraints. Babies are born and they are so beautiful. They become young children and wonder if they are important, do they count, will their voices be heard, will they be loved, will they make a difference. Parents, school's and friend tell them they are important, they count and are heard, they are loved and make a difference, but are they? With all the limits, restrictions and constraints how can they truly ever make a real difference? Does their one vote or action count? Are they really important? Could someone like this truly ever be loved?
A person becomes brave by doing brave things. Brave things to whom? It needs to appear brave to the person. What’s neat is that one brave act is so rewarding, it often leads to another and another and to an even braver act. That is when we train bravery, we can start with small brave acts we can lift at this time. With practice and growth, greater brave acts will be possible. To try to skip to superhero level all at once, probably won’t happen. Yes, we can practice in somewhat safe places but we want perform, be brave in the dangerous distracting real world. Yes, where there are limits, restrictions and constraints.
Schools teach and train in safe environments and stop. It’s up to us to take it out in the dangerous real world with limits, restrictions and constraints. Now, we can feel capable. Now, we know we can make a difference, that we count. We can do loving things and be loved. We can express ourselves within the limits, restrictions and constraints and be heard. We are capable. It is in the limits, restrictions and constraints we become capable. It is by being responsible and taking ourselves out into the dangerous real world with limits, restrictions and constraints that we become Superheros. Schools teach and train in safe environments and stop. It’s up to us to take it out in the dangerous real world with limits, restrictions and constraints. If it’s too big a jump and we never do it. We need to set it up in stages.
When parents, schools, cultures and societies try to make it easy and safe, they cripple us. It seems so welcoming and right, but it’s wrong and debilitating. How soon can the poor helpless baby be challenged? Love and Importance are like food. They will only fatten a baby that is not exercised. Love and importance will only make a baby weak that is not challenged. The development of a Superhero requires the most wonderful training and development of limits, restrictions and constraints.
Why do we have that restriction? That rule is stupid! Why do they make it so hard with all these constraints? … let me protect you; …. let me pay for it; ….. Let me get that for you; clamor the parents. But not you, everybody else's parent get that for them! Don’t you love me? Why don’t you want to help me get ahead? Can’t you help me with a shortcut? It’s a lot of scary hard work to become a Superhero, going beyond the limits, restrictions and constraints and still getting the job done.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. Everybody wants to be a Superhero, but nobody wants to train and practice within the limits, restrictions and constraints out exposed in the dangerous real world. And nobody is going to force their weak helpless little baby either. Schools and parents love you and want to protect you. You have to take yourself into the dangerous real world and make it to be a Superhero. How can we consistently make that transition?
The world can be dangerous and there are a lot of weird people out there. So how do parents and schools get their children dealing with limits, restrictions and constraints, as seen and felt in the real world? How do you transition your babies into Superheros? How to you prepare them? How do you let go? How do you let them fall and let them pick themselves up, recover and go for it again? >>> Maybe an attempt at a partial answer is: it doesn’t happen overnight. How do we get ourselves out there >>> it doesn’t happen overnight.
People scream and call out and claim, I am a champion, a superhero! It means nothing to claim it if they are still a novice. But they want it NOW! They don’t want to wait. They don’t want to train. They want magic, secrets, shortcuts. But wait, I’ve got this vision. I feel it in my gut! My Heart! …… It just doesn’t happen that way.
I know weight control and physical fitness is a lifestyle. Many things I tried, didn’t work. Then I came across this modified protein diet and exercise. I was busy and maintained the diet for about two years. I had a routine and it worked. I had a few minor holiday and vacation stressors, handled them and I was good. Then we moved back near family. My routine was messed up and I didn’t have the same food available or exercise means. I had a lot to figure out. I need to keep myself on my path. It doesn’t happen overnight, but I do have to keep going for it, figuring it out and training.
Kids they play at being adults, then go back to being kids. Then at one point they are adults, then stressors comes along they haven’t figured out and their adult game is thrown off and they are back to acting out like a kid. They regroup, figure it out and are back to being a responsible adult. It doesn’t happen overnight, but they do have to keep going for it.
Now kids want being an adult quite ferociously. That is they do not give up, no matter how bad they messed up. They are becoming adults. This is often called the underwater test. If you hold someone under water, they struggle with all they are worth. They are fighting for their life. That’s what kids do. They struggle and are fight for their life to be adults. They keep going until they figure it out.
For me, at the time, I had other more important priorities. This exercise lifestyle was important, just not #1.. I am still figuring it out, and will get to my objective. This underwater test I’m at a 4 struggle, where kids are usually at a 10 struggle. The point is there are so many things in life, situations, stressors, that are going to come along and mess with you. When you have most of them figured out, this is who you are. This takes a while. It takes putting yourself in the real world with all the limits, restrictions and constraints that have to be dealt with. It also takes making it a priority to solve them.
Use coaches, mentors, teachers, videos, seminars, classes, books, articles, blogs to help you. In the end it's you putting yourself in the situation. It’s you who puts you in the underwater test. Then another underwater test, and another. You keep doing this until you have mastered it and you are the Superhero, that defies the limits, restrictions and constraints.
Putting yourself in these underwater tests over and over again until you have mastered the area is a habit. It needs to be something that you just do. An automatic, that happens without thinking, you just do it. It’s so natural. It’s actually comfortable or rewarding in a crazy sort of way. It’s something you just have to do. This is you.
Please note the warning or caution here: Schools, cultures and even parents and friends train you to give up easy. Schools have so much knowledge and curriculum for you to forget, that they don’t have time to train or let you master Superhero stuff. There’s no underwater testing. It’s more like stick your pinky in the water, if it’s too cold, you “tried”, let’s move on.
I put an addition on my house and I hated and complained about the building department with all their inspections, codes and rules. They were impossible. Then I became a general contractor with my dad. I hated the building department and now I had three of them to deal with. I went through a few childish blow ups, but then decided I was going to figure this out. I figured out their systems, flow, phone numbers and priorities. I knew exactly what to do and how (mostly). It was now my livelihood and I had to work within the limits, restrictions and constraints to keep my project on schedule and profitable. It didn’t happen overnight, but it wasn't impossible and it didn’t take forever.
Some of it was learning or knowledge, some was perspective, some was acceptance, ...there were a lot of things and the many different projects put me underwater figuring them out. I guess, I was really luck we had a lot of smaller projects for me to figure out before I needed to be professional and polished on the bigger projects. Most importantly, I had an underwater habit in this area. That is, I was going to figure this out one way or the other. Hey, just like kids want to be adults. Start with some small objectives, even pretends, kids. They just keep adding up until all of a sudden, you find you are an adult, champion or superhero.
Knowledge is very important, but the training of an underwater habit, might be more valuable. It might even enable skills, habits or ways of being that make knowledge acquisition faster and more effective. Maybe even remembered. They have this saying, if you can read and you don’t, it’s the same as not being able to read. Pretty fancy put down, isn’t it? Maybe it should be stated: if you know something and don’t ever put it to use, it’s the same as not knowing it. That would make the “do”-ers smarter than the smarty pants.
Me, I’d be pretty dumb, as I haven’t done a lot with what I know. I was afraid of those underwater tests. When you are slapping around underwater, trying anything, there is a lot of failure, and school taught me failure was bad. To say the least, failing gave me pain! I hated it and feared it. I stayed away from underwater testing if at all possible. Wouldn’t it had been nice if school had taught be failure was good.
The road to success is abundant failure with little wins held on to, combined and put together to complete the success path. You can’t get to the little wins, without the failure. They are part of the path. Learn what you can and move on. Be excited you are on the path to success. Do not turn around. Keep going, you are doing great! The underwater test, just tells how fast you are moving down the road. Remember, overnight is not one of the speeds. But no matter what the speed, it’s faster than the turn around speed of never. And much, much faster than how I was trained in school, to never get on the road to success, try once or twice and then give up. Road to success, underwater habit training, superhero stuff is not trained in schools.
Could they start this training in kindergarten? Tag, hide an seek, memory games, spelling bees, ….. Sorry, you didn’t raise your hand. Oh, you had to spell it backwards, ...limits, restrictions and constraints, …… train the underwater figuring it out habit. If that was trained from kindergarten and each grade through 12th grade, I don’t think knowledge tests would be needed.
It’s not knowledge, but the use of knowledge that is powerful. By 12th grade, the “do”ers of knowledge would be smart and have an amazing underwater habit machine to address any situation. Knowledge, figured out, understood and used is at least 10 times more valuable than rote knowledge that is regurgitated and soon forgotten. And the habit of knowing something and not to know what to do with it, has to be worse than smoking and cancer. Would you rather die of smart cancer or be a Superhero, “do”er of knowledge.
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